What do you really want? How do Your Habits affect Your Happiness?

Posted on October 19, 2014 at 10:05 AM

At times it can feel that to create change in our life, it takes a massive big decision, and lots of change. Sometimes it can feel so big, that we never even start!

Our life is a creation of moments from decisions. Your life is a result of all the decisions that you have ever made. People generally do not suddenly become sick or unwell in a day, nor do they become broke or in massive amounts of debt, get depressed, have marriages and relationships fall apart as the result of just one decision that they made……

Humans can tend to be creatures of habits. We do so many things every day without normally ever stopping to ask ourselves, Is this serving me? Is this taking me to where I want to end up?

People living content, happy and successful lives have habits, just the same as those living a mediocre life at best, or feeling like they are just surviving. Are your habits serving you?

I’m not here saying that we don’t have things happen in our lives that shock us, slap us and blind side us. Of course, yes there are things that happen that create instant massive change in our lives that we are unprepared for and that change the course of our lives forever. Particularly if it’s something that happens to someone we love, or immediately impacts our own wellbeing.

But for the majority of people, we can tend to live from a position of reacting to life, and the things that appear to have “suddenly happened to us” when in reality they have been creeping up on us for some time because of the choices we keep making every day, rather than being proactive in our lives.

What is it that you want for your life and for your loved ones? How would you like to feel emotionally every day? How would you like to look and feel physically? Is it vitality and health that you would like, or is it to feel confident, happy and strong in your body? What type of relationships do you want in life? What freedom would you like with money? How would you like to be able to think each day and have mental clarity, creativity and focus? How would you like to feel about your work/career or business?

In every single area of life, there are people that are thriving and people that are less than happy with “how things are showing up in their life”

Because we are creatures of habits, we tend to be mostly running on autopilot, yes we make a few conscious decisions each day, where we might stop and think for a moment or two if we’d like to do something or not, but the main part of each day, is nothing more than a string of habits that we tie together each day, to complete the day. Most people eat roughly the same thing for at least breakfast and lunch, most people drive the same way to work, act the same in relationships, with their money and with their time and do roughly the same thing day in day out, without ever really consciously deciding what it is that they want, and whether or not their daily actions and habits will take them there.

We live in a society where instant gratification has become the norm. Our lives have become so fast paced that there tends to be irritation and intolerance if things aren’t happening as fast as we’d like them to. For example a particular person hasn’t rung us back, our takeaway food is taking too long, the line up for the coffee is way too long to possibly wait, but we desperately want that latte, and our internet speed is “ridiculously slow!”

A person who has access to the internet, has more information instantly available to them now as what the president of the United States had available to him twenty years ago. Such is progress!

But this fast paced living comes with a price and that is the lack of discipline and the consistency and patience required to reach a worthwhile goal, one that is worth waiting for and developing daily consistent habits that build success. We all want the quick fix, the miracle pill. We are in such a rush to get things, hoping that when we have “this or that” we will finally be happy, or things will be ok. It is based on the fear of lack, not feeling enough as a person, not feeling we have enough time, enough money and enough resources. We can tend to feel that we will finally be enough, when we reach our destination, rather than appreciating every single second and moment of life, and as we constantly look towards the future with longing and wanting, and back at the past consumed with regret, anger or sadness, we miss the very gift of that precious present moment that is right in front of our faces the whole time.

It might be the laughter emanating from our child, the beautiful butterfly, a loved one taking the time to really express how they feel, the beautiful sunshine, the soft breeze on our face, the celebration of every single small accomplishment, the appreciation and beauty that is always available to us, if we are truly present and available to witness it.

Anything that we desire in life, is simply because of the feeling that we believe it will give us, when we have finally gotten that thing. “When we are XX kgs, then we will finally be able to love our bodies the way they are” When I get XX$$$$ then everything will be ok, and I will be able to buy and do what I want to.” “When such and such finally says they’re sorry and acknowledges that they are wrong then I’ll be able to forgive them”

And all this time we wait…… and wait…… and wait…… growing more tense, more uptight and more fearful as every single day passes. The need and desire to get out of this level of pain contributes to any form of escape that we can imagine, mindless TV, drinking, smoking, eating, sex, drugs etc. The list is endless. The only problem is that this feeds the very problem that created the issue in the first place, as we are still no closer to having what we want, and most importantly feeling the way that we wish to.

Our habits are nothing more than a thought that we thought long enough that we finally believed it to be truth, and then because we believed it to be true we took action based on that belief, which then became a habit and eventually became a part of our identity and who we believe that we are.

Granted, a lot of our habits come from our childhood, monkey see, monkey do. Habits are nothing more than a thought that has become a belief, that we have then attached to ourselves and made it our identity. We then use words such as “I am broke, I am a smoker, I am unfit” etc. which only further reinforces this as our identity.

Quite often when people are disgruntled with their lives, their beliefs can be extraordinarily limiting when it comes to dealing with change in their life. There can tend to be the belief that “I’ve always done that, or I’ve always been that way, or it’s just the way I am” Which creates resistance firstly to even believing that change is possible.

The more that we can become firstly aware that life is just a series of tiny decisions that we make (or make unconsciously through our habits) then we create the space to acknowledge that change might actually be possible. Asking great questions is one way to start becoming consciously aware of the way we are living our life, and whether or not we feel satisfied, content and happy with the current direction that we are taking.

The second step is in being clear about what you want and why. What is it that you’d like to have and why do you want that? What will it give you? How will having this impact you and your loved ones?

Thirdly what are you doing every day to move in that direction?

By getting clear on what you want and why, you can begin to create some small changes in your daily habits that will serve you and take you closer to what you would like to have.

Some areas of life that you might like to consider are: Relationships, Physical Health and fitness, Emotional and Mental Wellbeing, Finance, Career/Work/Business, Spirituality, Toys, Adventure, Travel, Contribution to Others, Growth and Learning.



Categories: Self Love and Empowerment

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